Akatsuki: enter Hidan
by Tilia Cordata
Summary: After killing of yet another partner, Kakuzu is sent out to find their newest soon-to-be member. But this time, his new partner would be unlike anyone he had ever had before; a loud, obnoxious and religious fanatic. Revised in process .
1. The church

**First of all:** The idea to this first chapter was borrowed - with kind permission - from Omoi-ame and her story The Priest. Anything you might recognise from there is obviously not mine.

This chapter has been revised, since I could not read it through without cringing. I suppose taking the Creative writing module at university does that to you…

No characters belong to me.

* * *

**Akatsuki: enter Hidan**

Kakuzu grumbled as he walked, not happy in the least. Why Leader had decided to give him yet _another_ partner was beyond him. They could just as easily let him be on his own for missions and thus save the money they would now have to spend on this new partner. Oh, and not to mention that leaving him on his own for missions would save said new partner's life too. But Hell they had not even met him yet, and the little bastard was yet to be found: it was not as if the man _meant_ anything to the old Akatsuki member. Money did. So he was admittedly more worried about the money than the man's life. And this was why Kakuzu never had a pet when he was a child.

Anyway, not to go off on a tangent, Leader had sent Kakuzu out to find the new members and soon to be partner, along with Kisame and Itachi. Sent them out on a mission with barley any information, to the Hidden village of Rain. Which was why Kakuzu was currently in a very bad mood.

Which was why that bad mood started to rub off on the other two, as much as they tried to distance themselves from the tall and grumpy man.

Which probably was why the sky decided to open up and completely soak them in cold, heavy rain; it was out of spite, they were sure.

Which is where we find them now, running through the pouring I-would-rip-the-weather-gods-to-shreads-if-only-I-was-not-drowning rain in search for shelter.

Which, of course, they will find.

Which they all would come to wish they had not, seeing that they would find one of the most obnoxious members ever to enter Akatsuki there. Figures.

_'Your subject is a high priest of Jashin. Trust me, that is all you need to know_._'_ The description left much to be wished for but it was all Leader had told them. And when he told you something, you obeyed. When he asked you to jump, you jumped; you did not even bother to ask how high. And you kept jumping up and down until he told you to stop. No one had said that you could not curse him while doing so, though: Leader did not care about your opinion as long as you did your job. Kakuzu was therefore so busy cursing and swearing in his mind that he almost did not hear Kisame shouting his name.

Looking up, his gaze followed the blue man's outstretched arm and finger. Ah, finally shelter. It appeared to be an old church, whether it was still in use was impossible to say from the outside though. Shrugging his shoulders he walked forward to follow the others, away from the vicious rain. Whatever was inside did not matter, it was not as if they could not handle it.

They entered in what could hardly be called inviting: the floor was hard and made echoing sounds as they walked on it. The walls, made of dark grey, cold stone were filled with carved symbols, and the faint light radiating from the torch next to a door opposite the one they just entered through made shadows dance around the trio. The smell brought their minds to an old tomb, stale and heavy. It was almost ridiculous, as if they had walked right into an old horror story. Hell, it was probably warmer _outside_, than in this vicious gloom. It was so cliché that they could not help but roll their eyes slightly.

Looking at each other, the walked straight up to the other door and opened it. Contrary to what they would have expected, it did not make any sounds at all as it ghosted up enough for them to look inside.

The change was dramatic. In this room it was, though identical stonewalls, bright and comfortably warm. There was no doubt that this church was not as abandoned as it had seemed from the entrance.

Stepping further into the room, they all noticed that it was pretty large, had two doors at each wall beside them and an altar along the third, opposite one. A room used for ceremonies, most likely. There were no benches, but who knew how this particular religion was practised? They did not even know what deity the church was devoted to, but by the looks of it, it was not a peaceful or calm one. This brilliant deduction was made as they observed the half faded, half dried red stains around and on the altar: they had been killers long enough to recognise blood when they saw it, thank-you-very-much.

So caught up in looking around, they did not even notice the new presence behind them, watching them from one of the doorways they had not yet passed through. Not until the person spoke did they sense him, and spun around to face what could possibly be a threat. They had large bounties on their heads, after all. One of the downsides (unless you asked Kakuzu) with being S-ranked criminals.

"You lot interesting in converting? Or should I just kill you all now?"

They blinked at what they saw, but did not lower their guards. Sleek silver hair, clad in monk robes as well as a rosary - with the same symbol as the carvings on the walls and on the altar, they could not help but notice - and with intense violent eyes the man cut an intimidating figure. Not intimidating as, for example, Kakuzu, nor plain creepy as Sasori when inside that damn puppet they had never seen him without. But still intimidating. It was something about him that seemed to scream _'defy me, I dare you!'_

The trio almost took a step back as a sly smirk worked its way over pale lips, even the ever so apathetic Itachi was a bit thrown off guard. Not that he showed it mind you; this is Uchiha Itachi we are talking about. But nonetheless, even he was a bit weary of the impression the man left them; he looked like a vengeful angel that just could not _wait_ to judge them, and who just _knew_ that they would go straight to Hell. He looked like he would gladly send them there. With a laugh. And spit after them while they were still falling. The fucker.

"Well? What's it going to be?" The man snapped them out of their thoughts, taking a few steps towards them. Kisame held up his hand in a peace-offering.

"Please, Priest-sama, we only wish to wait out the storm. We don't want any trouble." Sure, they were highly trained shinobi - and dangerous criminals on top of that - but who knew what this man was up to or what he could do? And they were, admittedly, in his territory. They preferred not to start anything before they had more information – one of the necessary survival instincts that helped you survive as a rogue shinobi. The priest tilted his head slightly to the side and stepped forward, closer to the light. They could now see him fully; with fair skin and the features such as the hair and eyes they had already noticed he looked young, maybe in his mid twenties. He was also very beautiful, features soft and delicate: the epitome of a pretty boy. Not as effeminately pretty as a certain blond terrorist bomber they worked with, though. Despite his pretty looks he looked quite masculine.

If he noticed that they observed him, he did not show it. He just snapped his fingers to get their attention.

"You got lost in the storm, huh? Well damn... guess I can't sacrifice you either; you don't look as if you would please Him in the slightest, seriously. Damn, I wish I could just throw you out, to bad the doors does not lock…" By this time he had started mumbling to himself, and they could not help but feel slightly forgotten. But he soon looked back at them again, addressing them once more. "So sure, stay for all I care, but you should probably change clothes. I _really _don't want to take care of you if you get sick, seriously."

"We... did not bring any spare clothes." Kisame answered, after an awkward pause, earning a surprised glance from the priest.

"You come to the Village of Rain _without_ spare clothes? Bloody stupid, if you ask me." The man sighed. "Guess I have to lend you some, then. As I said, I don't want to take fucking care of you all, seriously. I'd probably just sacrifice you from being so damn sick of you I can't think straight, and you can't even _begin_ to imagine how many hours of praying it takes to ask for forgiveness because of an unworthy sacrifice."

With that he turned around and left the same way he came. The trio, after a glance at each other and with the threat about sacrifices fresh in mind, followed. Not much else to do anyway.

* * *

**Finally:** So here is the new chapter. No major changes. The other chapters will be revised to, but I cannot say how long it is going to take.

And before you ask, there will be no pairings in this story what so ever. At least I will not write it with pairings, but fan-girls can corrupt almost anything.


	2. Status unexpected

They followed the priest through what felt like endless corridors, getting a half-hearted tour of the church. Though 'monastery' seemed to be a more accurate term: this obviously was not just a place where people came to pray. There were multiple, identical bedrooms (it appeared that many priests shared a bedroom: at least four futons were placed in each room). Those rooms were dull, grey and scarcely furnished. There were a number of small toilets, and some blood-splattered, empty rooms the trio prefered not to think about. The longer time they spent in the church, the more they realized that they did not really want ot know. About a lot of things.

"Tell me, Priest-sama..." Kisame begun, before he was interupted.

"Hidan."

"Pardon?"

The priest looked over his shoulder, rolled his eyes at their confused expressions.

"My name's Hidan. It's much easier if you call me that, seriously. You all look like bloody heathens anyway, so there's no need to be so fucking formal."

The trio were at a loss of words, Kisames question completely forgotten. The man was rude and blunt, and had one of the loudest personalities they had ever delt with. He reminded them of Deidara somewhat, the young artist had always been too arrogant for his own good.

But before thay could voice their irritation, he spoke again.

"And your names?"

Kisame looked at the other two, and realized that it would be up to him if they wanted any talking done. But really, what could he have expected?

"I'm Kisame. That is Itachi and Kakuzu."

"Do they talk?"

"When they have to."

Cracking a small grin at that, he opened a new set of doors, showed them into what looked like a much more comfortable bedroom. There was only one bed, despite the size of the room, and the room itself gave an air of... luxury maybe? It was hard to tell exactly, but whatever it was, they could tell without doubt that this room belonged to someone of high status.

The priest, Hidan, walked right through the room towards the warderobe, opened it and pulled three white robes out. He turned around to face his guests, a smirk playing on his lips.

"You'll have to wear these, since you don't have any spare clothes."

It turned out to be white monk robes, identical to what Hidan wore himself. A bit uncomfortable, especially for Kakuzu who's robe was too small due to his size ("don't blame me! It's your own bloody fault that you're so damn huge"), but it was infinitely better than wet and sticky Akatsuki cloakes. Though changing in front of the priest was starting to get both embarrassing and irritating there was nothing to do but put up with it, as the man did not let them out of his sight, and he did not miss out on any change to laugh at them ("oh tsh, you're too small, Weasel", "Nail polish! Who the hell uses nail polish!? You're just a bunch of sissy girls!", "Hey, don't break that robe, ragdoll!"). The pale man was a champion when it came to getting on peoples nerves. If he had not been rewarded with a price already, he definitely should. If they so had to nominate him themselves. 'Nominate', as in 'fist in his face'.

"Who lives here? Won't he mind if you lend us these?" Kakuzu could not help but ask. After all, lending clothes to people would in the long run cost money, and money was something to be saved. Those robes appeared to be pretty expensive too. But Hidan just shrugged, walked out the way they had entered and waved a hand to make them understand that they should follow.

"It's perfectly fine, seriously. This is my room."

--

The trio talked silently among themselves during the meal Hidan had cooked up at them. They had not expected the loud man who had... greeted... them at the door to be someone of such high status. But then again, they guessed they should have had, the man moved as if he owned the place; maybe he actually did.

The man was surprisingly good a cooking; there was nothing about him that stated _otherwise_, not at all, but somehow it was hard to picture him with a spatula in hand, had they not seen it themselves.

Anyway, his skills in the kitchen aside, the man truly was weird. They were pretty sure that a priest should never cuss that _much_, or behave like Hidan did towards visitors. The only priests they had seen previously were the kind and forgiving ones, those who tried to see the best in everyone and everything and who, quite frankly, were so naïve it should be considered a sin. Every priest but Hidan. Just what kind of church was this? What strange deity allowed such... disrespect to others?

Kisame decided to voice their questions.

"Hidan, what kind of church is this anyway? I've never seen anything quite like it."

The single most devious smile they had ever seen crept over said priest's lips, and they could not help but wonder if he was about to tell them that the Apocalypse were about to take place anytime now.

"This, my strange, fishy friend, is one of the few churches left dedicated to the only true God, Jashin himself."

Their reactions were varied. Itachi blinked a few times, though his face remained as apathetic as ever, Kisame's eyes widened, his mouth fell wide open. Kakuzu nearly choked on his tea, and Kisame had to hit him on the back twice before he could breathe properly again. Hidan just observed them, amusement evident on his face.

"Man, you should see yourselves, you look like you're ready to fucking piss your pants, seriously. I'll be forced to kill you if you stain my robes, though, so try to hold it in. As I said, it takes a shitload of praying to be forgiven for lousy sacrifices such as yourselves. I take it you've heard of Him then?"

Kakuzu gave him an angry look, but did not press it. None of them wanted to recieve the bad end of the priest's temper, should they piss him off. Especially not i he was indeed of such... high... status... high status... priest... Jashin... this man was a high priest of Jashin?! This man was the man they had been sent out to find? This man was the man who should be Kakuzu's... Kakuzu slammed his head down on the table, cursing Fate, cursing Leader and cursing the pale man sitting right in front of them. Cursing them with every fiber in his being.

Itachi and Kisame looked sympathic, and Hidan looked surprised. So they told him. Everything. About Akatsuki, their goals and ambitions, about his role should he accept. They were interupted once, by another priest who came in to check if the visitors had been sacrificed yet. Hidan barked out an order, once again giving them proof that he was indeed somewhat of a leader. After that they were left alone.

It was late when they finished, and now they could only look at him in nervous anticipation as he tried to get all the information straight in his head.

"Let me see if I got this right... 'Akatsuki' is an organization hell bent on world domination. _You_ want _me_ to join so I can be Ragdoll's new partner after his last one was killed. _If_ I join, I'll be forced to wear that lame cloak and purple nail polish like some pansy, since your leader decided thay you should all match each other like little school girls. Am I right this far?"

Kakuzu did not look happy about the nickname, or the fact that the man had just ridiculed them, but they could only nod. They had decided not to tell the man how, exactly, Kakuzu's previous partner (partners, actually, he had had seven before Hidan) dies: they did not want to scare the priest away. Hidan grinned again.

"You all sound like a bunch of freaks. Sounds pretty fun to be able to piss you off on a daily basis. And maybe I'll be able to sacrifice heathens to Lord Jashin more often..."

He smiled; a real smile this time, not a smirk or a grin. It lit up his face, made his eyes glitter. Once again he looked simply angelic.

"Guess I'm fucking in."

* * *

**Finally:** There. Chapter two, uploaded in week seven as I promised. I cannot say that I am too happy with this chapter: it is short and pretty uninteresting in my eyes. Ah well, next time they will see more of why Leader decided that he wanted Hidan in the group, so hopefully that will not be such a pain to read. There may be some mistakes, but I am sick of proof-reading it now, so here we go. Please take some time to give constructive concrit. Thank you for your time and interest. 


	3. Introducing Hidan

The trip back to the hideout followed without mishaps

The trip back to the hideout followed without mishaps.

At least it went _somewhat_ smooth.

They did not encounter anyone stupid enough to really try to fight them (one or two rough ninjas tried, actually, but they were so quickly disposed off that they hardly count), but the presence of their soon-to-be companion made the air around them tense… well tenser, but it was expected, so it did not bother anyone except Hidan himself. The priest thus continued to cuss and bitch, with some occasional preaching, but after a major fight with Kakuzu (who was desperate enough to try ripping the pale man's head off and had to be restrained by both Itachi _and_ Kisame, who really did not want him to kill off yet another member before he had even been introduced to Leader) they calmed down.

At least things fell _somewhat_ quiet between them.

At least they did not try to kill each other, though all of them looked forward to the day where Leader would not punish them if they did.

Kakuzu, after this incident, busied his mind with thinking about his new partner in a more analytical sense. There was something about the priest that just did not fit into the picture he had given them, and it bothered the tall man. He had always been able to pick his partners apart in his head, analyse them down the smallest, finest detail; as he increased his understanding in a person, he knew how to treat them. But the pale man, Hidan, made that harder and more complicated, there was something in those violet eyes that did not fit with the personality he had so far chosen to show them. It was something empty, something dead underneath the layers of confidence and devotion. And this something, this emotion he could not put in words, could not grasp in his mind, could not remember when he tried, disturbed him. The very thought that it was something about someone that he could not analyse made him feel uneasy; he was so _used_ to the ability of being able to tell who someone was after a mere glance that this unnerved him, he hated not being able to put all the pieces together, hated not being in control of every little piece of knowledge he could possible access.

Anyone who had ever killed another human being in their life possessed a certain spark of death in their eyes, mixed with the knowledge of how easily a life is taken and apathy.

Anyone who had ever seen another human being die in front of them possessed a certain spark of death in their eyes, mixed with something almost haunted.

Anyone who had ever thought seriously about suicide possessed a certain spark of death in their eyes, mixed with something drained or tired.

But the spark of death in Hidan's eyes did not fit in either of these categories. Kakuzu was certain that the man had killed before; he _was_ devoted to a deity of death and destruction, after all, and he _was_ carrying a huge, three-bladed scythe which he really doubted was a mere accessory, but there was nothing haunted in those violet eyes, no apathy. Just… something else he could not name. And a frightening amount of glee.

--

They make a camp as the sun went down and darkness fell. Lying around a small fire (it was not as if they were afraid of being seen and _attacked_), Hidan turned to Kisame.

"What're the other members like in your pansy organization? Anyone I should watch the hell out for?"

Kisame nodded, ignoring the insult.

"All of them, I'd say. First, there's Leader and his partner Konan. Never piss Leader off. You will probably never see Konan, much less talk to her, but I've heard she has quite a temper." He grinned, before continuing. "Then we have Zetsu, the only one without a real partner. He ate most of them anyway. Dual personality; sometimes shy, sometimes he scare the hell out of me. Can usually be heard arguing with himself."

Hidan looked at him when he did not elaborate, but let it slide, curious to meet this Zetsu.

"Anyway, then we have Sasori and his partner, Deidara. Sasori is… well, he has a short temper and specializes in poisons. No one has ever seen him outside the puppet he hides in, but don't you question it in front of him."

Hidan nodded again, he sure had heard of Akasuna no Sasori, and made a mental note to piss him off on purpose just to feel the poison burn through his veins. It would hopefully hurt. A lot.

"And his partner?"

"Deidara is… is weird. He's the youngest of us, and damn, the boy has issues. He's more of a psychopath than any of us, in my opinion." Looking over to Kakuzu and Itachi, who both nodded to confirm his statement, he grinned and continued. "He's a pyromaniac and an expert with explosives – he was a terrorist bomber before – and you really want to keep away from the little bitch. He hates everything Akatsuki stands for, and all of us with it."

This caught Hidan's interest, a delicate, silvery eyebrow rose ever so slightly.

"Hates it? Then why the hell's he in it, seriously?"

Kisame only shrugged before answering.

"He was forced to join; Leader thought his abilities could be of use to us. Don't piss him off, don't make fun of his appearance or his… ah, _unique_ ability and never criticise what he calls art. He'll just blow you up."

"I see… anyone else then?"

"Nah, just Tobi, but he's not properly introduced yet, and I doubt he ever will be. He's a hyperactive, childish idiot."

With that Kisame turned around, and fell asleep, ending the conversation and leaving Hidan with his thoughts.

--

They arrived at base before noon, violet eyes silently taking in the surroundings. It was quite unnerving to the trio; they were used to the priest's bitching and cussing. A silent and serious Hidan felt almost ominous. Walking just as silently through the halls towards Leader's chambers they were met by Zetsu, who nodded politely towards them. Kakuzu, Kisame and Itachi all returned the gesture, Hidan only observing the man with obvious interest. Though the name of the strange man before them was not offered, it was obvious that this was the one with, from Kisame's description, dual personality. If nothing else, his odd skin colour was proof enough; half of him was midnight black, the other snowy white. Yellow eyes met his gaze, held him for a second before losing interest as the man moved past them, silent as a ghost.

They continued onwards, soon coming up to the door leading to Leader's rooms. Kakuzu, now named Rag doll in his new partner's mind, knocked almost carefully before they were given permission to enter.

"I see you have Hidan with you. I trust that the mission went without problems then?"

"Hai, Leader-sama."

Leader nodded slowly, his eyes – the only part of him seen through the shadows that almost completely hid him from sight – looked the newest addition to the group over, nodded slightly to himself.

"Kakuzu, show Hidan around the base, and introduce him to the other members. His cloak and ring will be in your room. Kisame, Itachi, you are free. For now."

They all (sans Hidan who never bothered with being polite to someone he did not respect) bowed slightly, before they left, feeling Leader's eyes on their backs and the invisible gaze of his partner watching from someplace hidden from view.

--

Kisame stretched as soon as the door closed behind them, rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"I'm going to bed. You guys do whatever. Remember to stay away from the artists."

Itachi, apathetic as ever, walked after his taller companion towards the room they shared. He too was tired from the mission and listening to the silver haired man's curses.

Kakuzu sighed, looking down at his partner who glared back defensively.

"D'you have a fucking _problem_ Rag doll? If not, don't give me that bloody look. You're supposed to show me around this fucking place, not sigh at me."

"I suggest that you shut that mouth of yours before I sew it shut for you." The stitched man growled, giving Hidan his most threatening glare. Hidan, though, just laughed, moved past him.

"Y'know you're going to Hell, right? Threatening a servant of Jashin'll ensure your arse ends up in the deepest fucking pit they'll fucking find. Now where's our room? I coudn't care less about meeting the other members."

Kakuzu could only blink; the shorter man had him at a loss for words. Sighing again, repeating to himself that he would at _least_ give the man a month before killing him off, he lead the way through the winding hallways.

--

Now even a day later, the missing nins saw the priest kill himself for the first time. They sat in the common room minding their own business, and no one paid any real attention to when Hidan left the room. Not until Deidara came in, grinning like he only did when something was about to explode or when he had witnessed someone die a bloody death (usually at his own hands), did they notice the absence of their silver-haired companion.

"Seems you'll have to find a new partner again, hm." Deidara announced gleefully before continuing. "At least it wasn't your doing this time, hm."

"What are you talking about Deidara?" Kakuzu answered calmly, not knowing if he should feel annoyed, worried or relieved. Deidara smiled sweetly, almost innocently. It did not fool anyone.

"I'm _saying_, hm, that your new partner has, seemingly, ceased to exist among us who are still alive and kicking. He's in your room, if you're interested."

Frowning, but deciding that Deidara's presence in their (or his, if the blond was to be trusted) room was (probably and hopefully) the last of his problems, Kakuzu rose and made his way towards said room to see for himself. The rest of them, simply curious, followed.

The sight was not a very pretty one to the rather unprepared Akatsuki members. Hidan's part of the room was splattered with blood, the man himself lying on the floor, a pike protruding from his chest. It must have punctured a lung, since blood was trickling from between his lips and down his cheek to join the rather large amount on the floor. Kakuzu (not to mention everyone else, besides Deidara who had seen it before and Zetsu who licked his lips) could only blink. The man had been in Akatsuki for less than a _day_ and he has already committed suicide! Kisame whistled, and turned to Kakuzu.

"Did you do something to him to drive him to this?" he asked, amused if a little nauseous from the strong smell of blood. Kakuzu could only shrug his shoulders, annoyed. Now when he has managed to keep himself in check and not kill the priest off as soon as the man pissed him off (which was before they even reached the hideout, actually), the zealot went and took his _own_ life! Had he done something extremely bad in a former life? Or did the Gods just enjoy a laugh at his expense? He could not help but feel somewhat cheated: it was very unfair.

Their amused speculations and suggestions of what to do with the corpse lying in the middle of the room was cut off when said corpse's eyes snapped open and the its voice snapped at them, albeit a bit thick from the blood who had seeped its way into its lungs and throat.

"Will you shut the fuck up!? I'm trying to fucking pray here!"

And shut the fuck up they did. Mouths agape, they witnessed as the seemingly dead man rose, yanked the pike from his chest and gave them a dry look. Kakuzu decided to voice their thoughts.

"What the hell?"

Shrugging his bare shoulders, Hidan walked past them on his way to the bathroom. If the other members noticed the blood staining the floor after him, they did not care at all; they were still shocked.

"He must have… missed his heart?" It came out as a question rather than a statement and the rest of them could only agree. There was no way someone could pierce his heart without dying. Well, Kakuzu could, but he had spares.

"Did he say that he was… praying? Was _that_ something Jashinists do when they pray?"

"Well, he must have done it before if he knew where, exactly, to stab himself in order to survive, hm."

But still… it was weird. This coming from a group who was used to a man looking like a shark, a man with dual personality looking like a fly trap, a puppet, a man with five hearts and a man with mouths on his hands.

"Kakuzu." Leader's voice invaded his mind, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Bring Hidan to my office. I have a mission for you."

* * *

**Finally:** There, third chapter up, I apologize for the (too) long time taken. But exams start in four weeks and I'm currently studying my arse off. So sorry.

And yeah, Deidara isn't a happy-go-lucky little airhead in this. Being in Akatsuki, worshipping absolute destruction and finding joy in blowing people up classifies him as a psychopath in my book. Be warned.

Next: a mission lets Kakuzu witness Hidan's unique way of fighting.


	4. Mission

**First: **I'm alive, I'm alive!! It's a miracle! No really, I am _so_ sorry about the abnormally long wait. Really. So sorry. It's just that I have had a terrible motivation problem and the writers-block of Doom. I, personally, don't think this chapter was worth the wait, but I hope you do. Aaanyway, enjoy; I have no idea when the next (and hopefully last) one will be published.

The briefing was a short one, and the zombie brothers - though not yet known as it - set out early the next day. The weather was perfect for travelling; it was not to hot, nor to cold. The sun was hidden behind the clouds, but there was no threat of rain. It _was_ somewhat windy, but not bothersome. Yes, the travel-part of the mission would have been perfect... had it not been for the travellers. Though none of them were speaking, there was a tension between them, an ominous foreboding that they would not enjoy the other's company for long. So far they had actually nothing to complain about, save for the fact that they pissed each other off, without actually knowing why.

Fed up with the silence, Hidan spoke.

"So... I haven't been told where the fuck we're going yet. Or why, come to think about it. You gonna tell me any time soon?" he said, poking Kakuzu's arm to get his attention since the man was - quite obviously - not listening.

Too caught up in his thoughts, trying to find out what it was, exactly, about his new partner that annoyed him so, Kakuzu almost did not hear him. Only when the priest growled and poked him harder did he remember the pale man beside him.

"Oi, fucker. You should answer when I'm speaking to you."

"I apologize. I was thinking." Kakuzu, who wanted to avoid an argument, which would almost certainly lead to him killing his new partner not even two days after his arrival, excused himself (and rather uncharacteristically too). No point in getting pissed of _this_ soon. Or pissing the priest of, for the matter. He did not want that either. Either alternative would lead to him getting a serious talk from Leader, and possibly a pay-cut. He really did not want that. He needed the money; in a world where nothing ever remained the same for long money was the only thing in his life as a shinobi he could really trust and depend on. Losing that because of a man such as Hidan was not an option. Not if he could help it.

"What were you saying?"

"I _said_, I still haven't been told where the fuck we're going. Or why." Hidan repeated, thinking along the same lines. The money-part excluded, of _course_. Kakuzu sighed, at himself, for forgetting that Hidan had not been present while Leader explained the mission details.

"We are heading towards Iwagakure, looking for a man called Aikia Hiashi, who is to be captured, alive, and delivered to Leader-sama. There's no need for stealth; Leader-sama wants people _know_ it was Akatsuki."

Hidan grinned.

"Like a warning, eh? Sounds like a hell of a lot of fun."

The taller of the two silently and very, _very_ secretly shared the enthusiasm.

--

If anyone had seem the pair as they were running, jumping between trees on their way to the hidden village of Iwagakure, they would have thought them strange travelling companions. The tallest one - Kakuzu - was covering as much of his body as he absolutely could. Mask in place, to hide either his identity or some deformity, possibly both, were carrying no visible weapons, only a briefcase that could contain anything. The smaller man - Hidan - was running a few steps behind him. His cloak was open, showing of his shirtless torso, carrying a large and unusual scythe on his back. Where his companion had dark skin and piercing green eyes, he was pale enough to be classified as albino, magenta coloured eyes to match. An odd par indeed.

But alas, since their surroundings were deserted these observations were, sadly, lost.

Not even a bird could be heard and, not being able to sense a single chakra signature but their own, they knew for certain that they were alone. According to them, though, that was one ninja to many. Kakuzu, trying hard not to lash out and kill his partner in a very brutal but satisfying way, was ignoring the man while chanting Leader-sama's warning in his head again and again._ 'If I kill him my pay will be reduced to half, if I kill him my pay will be reduced to half...'_

Hidan, in turn, was getting pissed off at the fact that Kakuzu was ignoring him, causing him to bitch and snap at the other as much as he could. He soon turned this into a game, trying various childish and highly annoying antics to see which Kakuzu reacted to. This, of course, was angering the latter even more, leading to their current predicament of an evil circle of screaming, yelling, insulting and threatening. But fortunately for them both, they were coming closer to their goal. The picking up of a faint chakra signal silenced their argument and focused their minds on the task present.

"Hey Kakuzu, where are we to find the fucker?" Hidan asked, argument completely forgotten.

"I don't know." was the answer. "We should ask someone for information."

And, as if oncue, a shinobi from Iwagakure stepped out before of them. They stopped in front of him.

"Do you know where we can find a man named Aikia Hiashi?" Kakuzu asked, politely. No need to be rude until after the information was given to them, after all. Though he _itched_ to kill someone or something after being trapped with Hidan for all too long, he wanted their entrance into the Hidden Village of Rock to be as discreet as possible, and hopefully the man was stupid enough not to recognize their cloaks and just tell them. Unfortunately, no such luck. The man took a look at their cloaks and frowned, eyes narrowing.

"Not if you're Akatsuki." he spat, charging at them with a kunai ready. The two sighed; the man was a ridiculous excuse for a shinobi. In an instant they had him disarmed and against a tree.

"Now," Kakuzu stated, voice cold, as he looked the man over, "where did you say we could find Aikia?"

The man wriggled under the stitched shinobi's hold, stubbornly (and stupidly) bent on keeping quiet. Hidan grinned, and before the other two managed to react he had produced a think, black pike from seemingly nowhere, piercing right through the man's shoulder and nailing him to the tree. Tearing it out - painfully - he looked the man over. Said (excuse of a) shinobi was trembling, clearly not used to pain, and if it had not been for Kakuzu's hold on him he would probably had fallen to the ground. It was pathetic, really. Ninjas nowadays were such babies.

"Where did you say the fucker was, again?" Hidan was grinning as he asked, pressing one of his fingers into the wound when the man hesitated to answer. Tears were streaming down the (excuse of a) ninja's face, screams muffled against one of Kakuzu's hands until he actually tried to form words.

"O-out... side Iwa... Mansion... W-west..." he croaked. Kakuzu cast a glance at his new partner, somewhat surprised. It seemed the religious zealot was not as worthless as he appeared if he could get information from a stubborn (excuse of a) shinobi that fast. Then again, the man _was_ admittedly not much of a shinobi.

"Outside of Iwa, you say." the priest repeated, confirming the answer. The man would have nodded if Kakuzu had not pressed against his throat.

"Yes! On... on the w-west side of I-Iwa. N-now let me go! Please!"

Hidan snorted at the man's plea. What did he think they were, nice people? You did not become a missing nin, and a S-classed criminal at that, without reason: Kakuzu easily snapped the man's neck. Setting out again, spirits lifted by the new knowledge. West of Iwa it was.

--

They found the mansion without trouble; the man had not even been loyal enough to lie before he died. Breaking in was easy too; clearly not expecting any trouble there were but a few guards on their posts, and none of them seemed alert enough to pay attention to their surroundings, lazily leaning against the wall or chatting between each other. Killing the guards at the outside could have been a D-class mission. Even a _genin_ could have done it, and that was really saying something. Inside was just as easy; there were few guards (though quite a large number of servants) and not one of them was a good enough ninja to register as a threat. This, though, made the two Akatsuki members tense; this was almost _too_ easy. And if there was one thing you learned as a shinobi, it was that easy was _never_ good.

Finding their way to Aikia's chambers was hard, though; the architecture was simply brilliant. It was easy to get lost in the labyrinth-like corridors, and more then once they found themselves back where they had started. Someone had clearly requested to the architect that the inner rooms were to be hard to find, and said architect had succeeded admirable. Had they had the time, they would have stopped to send a thought of respect to said architect. Oh, and had they not been two impatient, increasingly irritated ninjas trying to find their _own_ way into the bloody house.

After what felt like an eternity they entered a library: A good sign that they were now on the right way, but once they were there their troubles seemed to begin. The man's chambers were to be found deep inside the mansion, and more guards were patrolling the hallways, obviously more experienced than the sad lot they had previously encountered. There were also more servants, which increased the threat of being seen and reported. Sure, the wanted people to know it was Akatsuki who did it, but not before they actually got to the man.

Taking cover in a small and thankfully empty side room, they stopped to think. The safest way to go about this was clearly to kill everyone they encountered, but it was bound to take a bit too long for their tastes. Still, what could they really do? It was not really as if they had much of an option.

"I will take the rooms on the right side of the corridor, you will take those on the left. We will not, and I repeat Hidan, _not_ have time for any delays when it comes to killing any observers. Time is money and is not to be wasted. Do not play with the ones you encounter." Kakuzu muttered as they stepped out of the room once again. Hidan grinned deviously.

"Whatever you say, Kuzu-chan. Whatever you fucking say."

He was gone before Kakuzu had a chance to snap his neck.

--

Finding their way after that was not hard, thankfully. Leaving a number of corpses behind - both servants and guards - they soon found themselves in the part of the mansion that was obviously used as Aikia's living quarters. The man, though, had expected them. Waiting inside what appeared to be his office, along with several bodyguards, he faced them as they entered.

"Akatsuki," he sneered, confident in the belief that the pair would be overpowered. "I bet you feel very highly of yourselves to have found your way into the heart of my mansion."

Hidan and Kakuzu shared a quiet sigh. The man was a smug, ignorant bastard whose success in fighting off assassination attempts and similar attacks had made him arrogant. Fucking bastard.

"Oi!" Hidan, who was getting irritated, interrupted. "All that Jashin-damned narcissism is making me fucking nauseous. I'll shut you up myself, you piece of heathen shit."

And with that they all - Akatsuki and bodyguards alike - charged.

Fighting off the guards was not particularly hard; Kakuzu used nothing more than a couple of kunais and his fists, hardened from his favourite technique, while Hidan slashed through the guards with his scythe, not even bothering with any jutsus as all. When the last guard had fallen to the ground, eyes empty of all life, the pair could but show a couple of injuries. Kakuzu had a cut in the arm of his cloak, the skin underneath already sewn together, while Hidan, who was grinning all the same, suffered from a small stab wound in his right shoulder. Aikia, who now had comprehended the seriousness of the situation, had taken up a defensive fighting stance. Being a smug, overly irritating bastard aside, the man was a formidable shinobi, according to the various reports they had managed to find about him.

Kakuzu, though never taking his gaze or focus of the man, addressed his partner beside him.

"Careful Hidan. Don't underestimate him, or you'll die." Hidan just scoffed.

"Tsh, as if such a fucking heathen could pull it off," was the answer before both men moved forward to their goal, weapons drawn. Despite their differences, their annoyance and hate towards each other when together, the two men were partners, and they fought like it. Perfectly timed blows and slashes created an invincible harmony, a dance, in which Aikia soon found himself outclassed. When he tried to avoid what would without doubt have been a fatal attack from the masked man, he found himself almost face to face with the scythe sharpened beyond nightmares, and when he tried to block the scythe, a hardened fist was there from seemingly nowhere. He had long since realized that this fight would be his last, and true enough, he soon went down, unconscious.

Kakuzu grinned, unseen beneath the mask, and prepared to leave the mansion, body slung over one of his shoulders, when Hidan stopped him.

"Hey, we can't leave now, I have praying to do, seriously."

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed.

"What?" he asked in a gruff voice, staring at his partner. He must have heard his partner wrong. There was no way, _no way_ that this new partner of his this pale little brat, had just demanded that they were staying for who knows how long for such a meaningless and trivial reason. He _must_ have heard him wrong.

Hidan all but hissed at him.

"I said 'I need to fucking pray before we leave', dipshit. Lord Jashin demands total bloodshed; no heathen should be left alive. And since we couldn't fucking kill that smug bastard, I have to atone." With that he promptly drew Jashin's symbol on the ground using the blood of the fallen bodyguards, and lay down.

Kakuzu kicked him in the side, but the pale man only grunted.

"I don't enjoy it either, but it's something I fucking _have_ to do. We can spare half an hour, Kakuzu. Thirty fucking minutes." Hidan swiftly brought the pike down, nailing himself to the ground, eyes closed and lips working in a silent prayer. Kakuzu, eyes twitching slightly, studied him for a couple of seconds before sitting down on the floor. Might as well get as much rest as he could, if he was forced to wait. But if this delay proved to be expensive, Hidan would pay himself, if not in coins then in blood. But for now he would have to wait.

Because after all, abandoning Hidan now, and walking back to Leader-sama without him, would be almost as bad for his economy as killing the man off. Fucking figures.'

* * *

**Finally: **There you go, end of chapter four. I hope you enjoyed it, and once again, I'm sorry. As I said, I have no idea when the next chapter will be up, so... until then, I guess.


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